life after a break up

I'm feeling numb. There is an emptiness inside of me. Nothing is real yet. It's still a dream.

I still speak with him daily. I'm not sure if it's making the transition easier or harder. We chat on web cam so I can see him and hear him, and it makes me want to touch him so badly. That is what I miss the most about him, his thickness. That may sound weird, but I love how his body is so warm and solid. I don't know if I'm describing it accurately, because he isn't overweight, he just has the right amount over heavy muscle.

I miss his presence and the security of always having him near. If something was to happen, I would want him with me right away.

I definitely don't miss his jealousy. And his crazy possessiveness. Although I still have to deal with that everyday anyways. It's insane. But I just don't know how it will work out in the end. I guess I just have to let the universe do it's thing.

All I know is that I am just taking it day by day. I can tell my baby girl is feeling something missing, she's been fussier than usual since he left. She is definitely a comfort to me though, and she is only five months old. I'm optimistic for our future, I know our life will be a good one. It's just me and her now.


xoxox
Jessi Jayne